Trust in Marriage
On Thursday, 9 September 2021, IFGF Bandung through its women ministry, LOVE (Ladies of Virtue and Excellence), held a marriage talk titled Trust in Marriage. The guest speakers for the event were Ps. Jose and Hanna Carol of Jakarta Praise Community Church (JPCC). The ladies were encouraged to invite their husbands for this special couple talk and around 400 people attended the event.
In Genesis 1:28, it is written that the purpose of human creation is to be fruitful and increase in number, to fill and rule over the earth. The way God created humans to fill the earth is not through corporations or church, but through the institution of marriage. In marriage, a man and a woman are united through a process and a journey. More than just a physical union, a marriage is a unity between 2 souls; in thinking, feeling and purpose they are blended to be one.
As husband and wife, a couple should reach an agreement for oneness in their marriage. Trust is one indicator of how agreement exists in a marriage relationship. In fact, there are 4 key points that can be used to measure the level of agreement between husband and wife;
- Trust
- Openness
- Understanding (ability to see things from different perspective)
- Reliability (being reliable through consistency and responsibility)
In the process of building oneness, husband and wife need to be able to share their thoughts, feelings and desires. Throughout this, we are mindfully using our mouth and heart. As we go through this process often, we will be able to build oneness. However if we’re ignoring this process or neglecting the differences between husband and wife, we are distancing our relationship and creating problems in it. Trust in an important foundation to build a healthy marriage.
3 important points to be understood by husband and wife:
- Trust is a reward. It is a gift from your spouse.
- Trust can’t be given out freely. The bible says, those who can be trusted in small matters will be trusted with bigger things (Luke 16:10).
- Trust takes time to be built. Building trust requires our ultimate effort.
The first and second points are from the trust recipient point of view, while the third point is viewed from the giver. In a situation where trust was broken, we need to think about the future possibility to be able to rebuild our trust for our spouse. This means, we need to think of good things that might happen in the future as we rebuild this trust. We should stop looking at the past and trusting that the future of our marriage will be bright. As a trust giver, we need to see the Positivity of Joy as we remember the excitement we had experienced in our marriage. The worst thing that can happen in a marriage is letting yourself trapped in disappointment and refusing to give out forgiveness. Don’t be tricked and go take the risk. Giving out trust is a risky business but with this risk comes a great reward of a better marriage.
This LOVE talk ended with a Q&A Session and also a prayer from Ps. Jose to bless the married couples so they can learn to build trust in the marriage and be a better spouse for each other.
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
– Mark 10:6-9 –
